Anxiety, A Scandal

Today, I fear I'm not alright.
These fears that fill me,
please don't linger in my nights.

I never want to say goodbye, my darling,
for my eyes are open now, lit by your light.

You've let me sing in a way I never could;
I fear that without you,
my voice would be broken and misunderstood.

Your courage, your kindness,
and your strength have shown me that I was trapped in old ways,
ways that were far from heaven-sent.

I never wanted to reach for things I felt
were meant to remain in my consciousness,
to be hidden way down far beneath.

But you took me to places where I learned to heal,
as I was tattered and torn,
ripped apart by bared teeth.

Despite us never going physically that far,
you took me to places that allowed
my inner self to bare fearlessly all my scars.

Often I wake in stillness and fear that you,
my darling,
will leave me, as you are stuck only in first gear.

My heart races through the night,
knowing my own vehicle
is not so fancy when lit by your discerning light.

We know life never gives us more than we can handle,
but the pain
of you leaving would be my scandal.

I pray my fears are just anxiety,
the result of old wounds and horrors of hurt,
of no notorious notoriety.

On days like this, I fear I'm not alright.
These fears that fill me,
please don't linger in my nights.

By Eileen Casey
August 11, 2025

Image by Pixabay